Oh God...what am I supposed to do?
Perhaps I'm just paranoid. I don't know. I care for them, knowing the true colours of that company they mix with. The incorrigible, unbelievable liar, who could convince almost anyone, anything beyond your imagination. I wonder why it didn't hit me this badly when I just got to know about it. I was one of the many victims of that bastard, I knew everything ...
but...
Do they know?? They don't. I guess, they don't believe he's such a character...
A false front, is what he has put up, pretty well, i must say. I'm furiated. How i wish i could RIP his 'mask' into a thousand million pieces with what aggression i've cultivated in me, over the years. I know everything. I know him like an open book, almost. :) I really feel like hollering at him
"Let my friends go!!!"
How i wish I could do something...to warn them of this foreboding danger i sense.. I do not wish to jeopardize this friendship. I treasure them as friends...but feel utterly useless, just sitting by awaiting for something drastic to happen...sigh, that terrible mement. I hope and pray so hard it never comes.
God!!! ... ...Please help me.All i can do is pray...
I'll definitely stand by these dear friends, and hopethat my presence be a comfort to them when needed. I'll definitely be there.
I'm crushed by devastation,my vision now,blurred by tears of helplessness. I feel like a handicap who can do nothing. My eyes twinkled under the dim orange lights in my room. I huddled up, alone in the 'cosy corner' of my room, which was specially made for two. The idea of isolation blocked out everything else in my head...
IF ONLY, i backed away from everyone... ...
- i wouldn't feel so terrible now
-i wouldn't feel hurt,emotionally.
-buggers wouldn't be getting on my nerves(refer to the post on 20th Jan)
-i wouldn't have to settle relationship issues
-i wouldnt have to care what others think about /prefer...
It would be a self centered life, a self centered person - ME. I loathe/detest/abhor such intolerable behaviour.
oh, waht a contradiction...Perhaps, its a fight within me. So deep, you won't have the slightest idea despite a hard stare into my eyes.
Then again, depression slithers up to my shoulders as it slowly engulfs the whole of me.
Its late, I'm weary. I can't lift that sword anymore.
I can't fight it.God, i can't!!!!!!
Andrea Yim
10:54 PM
