e s o p h o r i a -all about my imperfections as a confused sinner.

It has been a rainy day...since morning(if my memory did not fail me). My hands were stiffened due to the lack of warmth. Here i am, sitting under some adequate lighting, worn out by one of the dreaded chores in life. Intending to check out the weather conditions outside, hoping that the cold would go away, I tilted my head slightly to the right and took a peek out of the glass panels. My hopes for a little warmth were sent diving down steeply ,instantaneously.Reluctantly, i accepted the fate of my little delicate hands - to have to withstand the bitter conditions till ... ...

Slumped back into my chair, I stared helplessly at the undone tasks that lay sprawled in the most untidy fashion, before me. I ponder... is this all about life? Undone tasks? Be it duties/responsibilities that we abhor/detest. It is all done grudgingly. Some do it in fear of losing their jobs,others succumb to their dreaded assigned tasks,not for the passion but for the wrong reasons/purposes - the money.

Does life HAVE to be that way?What about real passion, true meaning and rightful purposes? I realised that all these virtues have become humour - something people laugh at when strived for.

Lets take this frequently asked question, for example.
"A meaningful or materialistic life.What would you PREFER?"

Now, hold on before you really answer.

Think hard.

Are you sure it is a meaningful life that you REALLY hunger for? Let me emphasize on the word - HUNGER.

Well,just some food for thought. :)

As for me, I admit. I AM someone who is very much taken away by materialistic properties/gains in life. I drool at the latest, most powerful gadgets in the market , I splurge on branded clothing and fashionwear , I am bothered by my superficial appearances...

But, I do take a step back, and realised I am just like one of the many out there who are fatally attracted to the mere skin-deep qualities in life. Now that can be quite shallow, you know. Not implying that it is WRONG to BE SUPERFICIAL. But somehow, i make this barrier for myself - to remain conscious inwardly. I prevent myself from straying too far...and becoming a mere follower of fashion , a phoney.

Life can be a pretty tough journey to set out for and to complete. But interestingly, its not a typical adventure whereby you plan all your routes well at the beginning and success is assured. Its a special journey where you meet many obstacles/hindrances along the planned/unplanned paths. thats when one have to decide and think for themselves," which route would benefit the most?" and "what do i get out of it at the end of the day?" . However, the most important question to me would be, "is this route sustainable/reliable in the long run?is it SAFE to take this route?"

Lastly,pray about it. I'm sure I would be pretty fine :) heh.

This is my life folks. Gotta run. Take care. Its a public holiday !!! Enjoy. I love this song so much.

Playing on my blog: Hero by Enrique Inglesias
Specially dedicated to a very special someone :) *blush*

Andrea Yim
3:44 PM