Envisaged bright future in ruins? I won't let it happen.
Hmmm.sorry guys, no fantasies today.I need a break and get outta the house to get a breather.-the more i stay in, ther more thinks jam up in my mind.And that sucks.Basically,its another rough patch.Then again, someone cares. Im sorry, Pom-berrians. A big thank you goes out to Adam,Aaron,Iskandar, Kelly, Vinko, Eugene-especially. thanks for accompanying me through the difficult night last night. I'm throung it and am feeling a little better.Thanks Eugene,for offering the car ride all the way down from jurong east then to town for the audio show and dinner after that to cool off and think rationally and get things off my mind.i just don't wanna drag people's mood down,alongside with mine...
As for Vinko, i know ur going through difficult situations and stuff...Just let ya know that i'll always be here, the least i could do is listen. Thanks to kelly, for accompanying me all the way till 6am in the morning today.I will sleep well tonight. Perhaps, like what all of you said, its not worth my time and energy to mull over it.
I do treasure my part in the 'Pom-berrian community, i really do. sometimes, the stuff that i do, its better that i don't say. I do enjoy the times when we hung out and had fun, its more like what a norm should do. guess, im just ageing too quickly. I'm sorry.
If this is what it takes for me to learn a lesson(the hard way). i guess i'll have to.I'll be fine at the end of the day, but i'll never forget having friends like you guys.I've neglected you guys too. I really wish everything could start afresh. My life, you guys...and all the others....sometimes i try....but misunderstandings happen...that's why i shy away from reality. Perhaps, im a coward. I know i have to face it, and i'm starting to learn how to.
When chances are given, to treasure it is the only thing anyone would do. But, when misunderstnadings or assumptions occur, i can't put myself through all the shit again...I'm just very hurt...till...I'm insensitive to how people would feel towards me and just coop myself up in my little world of crap. I thought i was beginning to open up...but things never went the smooth sailing way people wanted it to be. Guess, its another big round of... ...emotional turmoil and feelings of helplessness...then again, nothing can be done.
I wish everyone the best in their life, be it in their o's,in their long/short term goals or...merely living life day by day hoping to live pass it(rotting at home?drink till their liver fails them?smoke till their lungs turn inhumanely black?) I don't know and i don't wish to know either. as far as i'm concerned, i am also here for all of you. I'm not giving up on anyone of you. None. But, yes Lynne, ur right. Its you who turn your back on the world.
Andrea Yim
2:32 PM
